Mary, Lady Jardine - Eulogy
- Jardine Clan Society
- Mar 4
- 6 min read
Mary Beatrice; mother, Granny, sister, Aunt, Godmother, mother-in-law, a fellow ‘in-law’, friend, neighbour, healer, customer, resident, patient, whichever form she takes for you, I’m sure we will all remember her warmth and hospitality, interest in politics, determination and commitment to public service and most of all, her quick wit and high intellect.
She was daughter to the Honourable John Michael Inigo Cross of Eccle Riggs, here in Broughton, and Sybil Anne Murray of Templewood, Brechin. Tragically, her father died on a hillside two months before she was born, so for the main, she was brought up with her grandparents, Major Thomas Prain Douglas Murray and Sybil Enid Toler, whom she adored. Her step-father,John Parker-Jervis, known as JPJ, was posted with the navy to Malta and she fondly remembered her time at primary school there.
Likewise, she thoroughly enjoyed her time in the north east of Scotland, at Templewood with her half siblings Harriet and Andrew, and the ever steadying presence of Dossie and Pete Stewart. She particularly enjoyed attending Brechin High School and carrying out her first job picking tatties, as all the children did. This was in stark contrast to her time at West Heath Girls’ School. She did, however, find studying English Literature at the University of Strathclyde, as she put it ‘good, even great fun’, and this is where she found her interest in journalism.
Mary loved travelling and was a great believer in taking gap years, yes, years plural, and for her children to do so too. Before starting her degree, she had the time of her life travelling around Canada and then post university she spent some time nursing in Chichester in Sussex, where she learnt a lot of life lessons and lessons for life.
Then came the London interlude, where she got a job at The Press Council on Fleet Street, dealing with complaints about the British press. She was the first woman to hold this position. As Alexe, a dear friend and fellow journalist writes:
‘Try to remember, or, more likely, imagine, a world without email, internet, social media, mobile telephones, a world where people used typewriters, desk mounted telephone handsets, pens and paper, where news copy might be dictated from a public telephone box. Fleet Street was a real, buzzing place to work, Robert Maxwell and Rupert Murdoch were eyeing each other up, journalists were just beginning to be a little unscrupulous. Their antics were monitored by the Press Council, housed in an elegant building and staffed by professional, methodical, and maybe slightly dull people.
Until Mary arrived. In she swept, with the most sophisticated Vidal Sassoon short bob Alexe had ever seen, a husky voice (Eleanor Bron meets Fenella Fielding) and a wicker basket. A wicker basket, not a briefcase! And patent leather shoes. She was a journalist, she had graduated from a Scottish university and had been writing for a local paper in Buckinghamshire, she was known to the Press Council directors. I was terrified, says Alexe!! Glamour, sophistication and confidence oozed from every pore. I felt not a little threatened – was she after my job? (no); was there enough work for all of us (yes – the unlikely combination of Lady Diana Spencer and the Yorkshire Ripper saw to that!). Neither of us could cook, says Alexe, and the Greater London Council offered free lunchtime classes in various subjects including cookery. We went together and we both became good cooks, although it might have been in spite of, not because of……
She continued with the Press Council for a number of years and when she moved to Ash House, she went part time in the office in London and part time working from home. Clearly a pioneer of modern flexible working practices too.
And then, the whirlwind took another spin, in the shape of Alec, when he was invited to a lunch party at Ferns, her parents’ house in Buckinghamshire. And then came THAT engagement ring, emerald and diamonds (which can now be seen on Kirsty's left hand), the most beautiful engagement photograph and proof – if any were needed – that Alec and Mary had a great bond..’
They ‘eventually’ (Mary’s words) got married at Holy Trinity, Millom in 1982 three years later. On this, she quoted the comedy series To The Manor Born when she said that she had an ‘arranged marriage’ as she arranged it. They honeymooned in Greece and holidayed in places like Morocco, which is why cous-cous wasn’t allowed in the house after that as Alec had had enough to last him a lifetime.
Most significantly, she had William Murray in 1984, the first of her five children. She was still working at The Press Council during this time. They spent a couple of years with Alec’s parents at Little Dyke, in Dalton, Dumfries, and when Alec’s father died, their world turned upside down and she took up the role of wife of the Chief of the Jardine Clan. Now Mary’s determination, resilience and true grit emerged – to support Alec, keep the family afloat. At this point she channeled her journalistic skills and completely took over the production of Clanline, the Jardine Clan Society newsletter.
Two years later, Kirsty Sybil arrived in 1986, before the family moved to Uri in Stonehaven as Alec was studying at university. In 1988, Jean Maule came along, which Mary described as ‘good news’. Then it was back to Ash House in Cumbria where she had John Alexander Cross in 1991 and got involved with everything local, especially if it had a committee, i.e. the Broughton Chamber of Trade, Broughton Methodist Church, and she never stopped campaigning for ‘the bridge’ across the estuary. She even got Anneka Rice of ‘Challenge Anneka’ to refurbish the Harriet Trust that supported families with disabilities in Millom. Apparently, Alec had told her not to go on the helicopter as she was pregnant with Douglas Edward in 1994 but then found she had done so when the episode aired and there she was having a high old time in one. She also had a huge amount of time for elderly individuals in the community and would have the residents of Kirksanton Care Home round for afternoon tea of scones and Dundee Cake at Ash House.
Around this time she gave up her position at the Press Council to realise her own special calling as a healer, never more in evidence than when caring for Alec and when Alec died in 2008, life cooled down. Still, off she went to visit Jean in Turkey, France and saw her get married in Colombia. John in Australia and New Zealand (separately) and Kirsty in China.
Her family then started to grow when Gemma, Andy, Jack and Sarah joined, bringing her wonderful grandchildren Alexander and Henry, Phoenix-Rose and Luna-Phoenix, Lucy and Sophie, Charlie and a seventh on the way.
Recalling Mary’s catchphrases, amongst “crumbs, oh lummy, what joy and bullshit”, the children firmly remember “there’s no such word as can’t” and this has been more than evident in Douglas, when, over the last decade, even as Mary’s physical strength was significantly weakened, countless times he put her first and honoured her “can-do” attitude, taking her (wheelchair, sticks, inhaler and all) out paddleboarding on Coniston, off-road mobility scootering in the Langdales and she didn’t miss the opportunity to have a go at target practice with an air rifle from her wheelchair. He looked after her with such care and attention for so many years and this will never be forgotten.
Alexe sums it up well: ‘What a friendship, what a journey. Rest peacefully with your beloved Alec – a life well lived, love given freely, and five unique, maybe unconventional, offspring to carry on your ideals’. Alexe goes on to say, Mary may describe herself as “Scottish” on the Companies House website, but despite her allegiance to “all matters Jardine” – notably Alec and her beloved Murray grandparents – her last journey will show the depth of her Cross roots; from Ash House that was inherited from the last of her four maiden aunts, Ellinor Frances Cross, whom she was very fond of, to this church in which she was christened and the resting place of the Viscounts and their wives, to Eccles Riggs, built by her great grandfather, the first Viscount, Disraeli’s Home Secretary, who also provided the funds for the improvement of the south west tower and a peal of bells (which we get to hear rung beautifully today).
And finally, as Cousin Venetia said, "Mary and Alec carried on the tradition of the aunts at Ash House, welcoming everyone". And in that vein, the family invites you all to Eccle Riggs after the service to celebrate her life over refreshments. The family are so grateful to everyone here today, and those who couldn’t make it, for being part of and enriching her life in so many ways and sharing this difficult time together.
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